My Idiot Dog

My dog is a very special breed, his breed is called "the idiot of all idiot" breed. You see, he's a lemon beagle and when beagles eat..they don't stop. Therefore this causes my dog "snoopy" to eat oh lets see..batteries, pencils, pens, anything you can write with actually, used Kleenex's, old paper, anything you leave on the ground or within reach of his tongue. Now, you must understand that he is no noob to somthing we call a stomach pump. I'm pretty sure it's actually a thrill for him to see how much crap he can eat before we have to take him to get his stomach pumped. (When i say the word crap, i mean it, he eats his own poo) But..here is my theory as to why he eats his own dodo; IT LOOKS LIKE CHOCOLATE..to him at least. See hes now officially eaten my whole chocolate santa (quite large, it's a shame, considering i was saving it for mmm approx 3 years) and lets see a whole big tub container of gummies shaped like bunnies, all my lil bro's Easter chocolate, my moms Israeli chocolates and i don't even know what else. Oddly enough......HE'S NOT DEAD YET! oh wait, we aren't even at the best part....when he eats all this crap and realizes that all he can do for the next few days is throw up he thinks that eating a pound of grass by the hour will save him. And then when the grass doesn't go down smoothly he drinks up all the water in my mom's new plug in fountain thingy. This disaster that i now clean up after is called....the idiot of all idiot...Snoopy. -Brittany