Friday, December 18, 2009

Ant


So i often have wondered what happens to bugs in the winter. Do they all commit a mass suicide or
do they hide in the ground until its time to come out again. Well whatever they do it is cool. Today i had to go to the washroom which is a normal reoccurring thing in my life. So i walk into the washroom and in the stall next to me i hear my friend Christina giggling softly to herself. I said "Hey Nina!! whats soo funny?" and then she told me all about how when she looked into the toilet she saw a dead ant floating around. Obviosly this was a mass suicide attempt. The only thing wrong with this statement is that there was only one ant. So here is the story of that one lonely ant floating in the bowl of doom. "Ahh..what a lovely day it is today, i think i might go on a walk." Said Alfred the ant. Alfred sang a merry tune as he walked, it went like this: " I hate my life, It is cold, i have no fat to keep me warm, I want to die, but I'm to shy, to lead my friends to suicide"Now Alfred is not suicidal as much as you may think he is. Honestly from his wife's perspective Alfred is a happy ant who is having an identity crises because he feels he looks like his brother even tho they are not twins. Alfred feels that he will become great leader by leading all his family and friends (234565745757423480123) (that's how many friends and family he has) (oh..just kidding 6000000, just died a second ago from the shock of hearing how many relatives they had) Well anyways... lets try that sentence again.....Alfred feels that he will become a freat leader by leading all his family and friends (234565745757417480123) to mass suicide so that they will not have to deal with winter any longer. Alfred gathered his followers (6) and decided that they would take the plunge into the bowl of doom as a team. To bad for Alfred tho....wanna know why? Well when they got to the top of the bowl..all 6 of them. Alfred decided to tell them a joke..."What's brown and sticky?" Al and Fred (his sons) replied with "Dad you idiot, the answers a stick.....now DIE!!!!!" and with that Al and Fred pushed their father into the bowl of doom. This may seem like a sad story to you, but to me this is a story of joy...why is that you ask? well...the answer is....I hate ants. And that is why there was an ant in Christina's toilet bowl. -Brittany